Dan Howarth

I started my second novel on 1st January 2019. It’s now finally in a shape that it can go to beta readers, ready for them to tear it apart. I’m at the point with it that it says all the things it needs to in terms of the story being cohesive but I’ve had my head in the thing for 9 months and I need another pair of eyes and some distance.

Will that book go anywhere? Christ only knows. It’ll take a lot more work but I think after some time away and some (possibly, hopefully) positive comments, I’ll get another lease of life and whip it into shape.

I finished that draft on Friday and delivered it to beta readers on Monday. Ever since Friday afternoon, when I openly cheered in a public place having finished the draft, I’ve felt pretty flat. Perhaps it’s a bit of creative exhaustion. I’m not sure. I’ve spent so long inside one book, now I’ve left it, I feel like I don’t know what to do next.

I’ve edited a couple of short stories that I finished at the back end of last year and aim to whip them into shape. I’m not short of ideas, but trying to settle on one has been difficult.

The point of this is post is just to vent. To say that although I don’t have a project on the go right now, one will come along. In the meantime, maybe it’s OK to step away from the keys for a day or two, read a book and recharge. Maybe I should have a browse through my ideas and be selective.

In short, I’ve kept my foot down for 9 months and completed a book of over 95k words in that time. That’s a great achievement, considering I’ve pretty much written it twice in that time. I’m proud of finishing it. Maybe now, I can take a little bit of time to get my head together and choose what I do next.

That said. I can hear Round Here, (the book I wrote last year) calling me home for another sitting. Perhaps that’s where my heart lies? Time to recharge, refocus and refuel by cracking the spine of a few great books. In the meantime, I’ll do hat I can not to beat myself up for a 0 word count day. Wish me luck.

I’ve been buried in writing a book since January. This year I have made a conscious effort to complete, hone and polish a novel that has been on my mind for years.

On the 1st January, I made my excuses from my family for a couple of hours, went upstairs and made a start. Those 800 words came slowly. All of them have since been rewritten. But I put a marker down.

9 months on. I’m still going. If this book was a baby, I would’ve given birth to it by now. I’ve written it. I’ve revised it. I’ve rewritten it. I’ve edited it. Numerous drafts. Numerous iterations. Numerous ideas.

All of these things have one thing in common. They don’t get achieved without what I have termed – “arse in the chair time”.

At times, including most recently yesterday, this process has been exhausting and confidence crushing. The old cliche of not seeing the wood from the trees has been at the forefront of my mind. I’ve spent a few weeks staring at nothing but leaves and fucking twigs. Now, finally, I am starting to see sunlight peeking through them.

Today I read a story about a professional athlete, who I won’t name for various reasons. (The guy is an elite athlete but seems reprehensible in his private life.) His daughter came 4th in a tournament she really wanted to win and was given a trophy. She wanted to throw the trophy in the bin. Instead he put the trophy on her bedroom shelf so it was the first thing she saw when she woke up. Rather than something to forget, it became something to better and to improve upon.

As he said to her. “You can either cry about it, or be about it.”

We all have our down days. Days it seems too hard, too much work. Whether it’s writing or something else we strive to improve at. It’s not about avoiding those days, it’s about how you respond to them.

I’m back at the keyboard again today. I must be about it.

Time to crack on again.

Dan